Standing on a Bridge

Every year around this time I begin to get flooded with memories of the past. New and old memories alike rush to my brain in what seems to be chronicle of my life. On the outside I may look like another average person but I look at what average means. There is no such thing as an average person. Average is the sum of all available persons divided by the total number of people. Although it is possible that someone fits this average exactly, the probability is very slim. So I will now classify myself as unique. ... In my unique life how did I arrive at the man... boy... person...that I am today? Look at the picture and you will see a visual representation of what I have become. I am standing on a bridge, trying to get to the next stage of my life, (the working years), praying to make those around me proud of me. In this context, to my right you will see what I have learned over my short 25 years. To my immediate right is a girl who has done nothing in her life but made me proud. I look at what she has accomplished in her minuscule 15 years and am awestruck at the young woman she has become. Her accomplishments at such a young age remind me that if I do not stay on top of my game, I will no longer deserve the title of role model. I am glad for the inspiration that she provides for me, I am also proud to know that perhaps in some small way my attitude has helped shape this person.... Now look to the right again. You will see the biggest smile that can come out of someone. Although he is just a little boy still I see what he can accomplish. I love his attitude when he has lost or is hurt and he bounces right back up and gets on the horse. He has the brain to accomplish anything and now he is beginning to learn the lessons that his sister has taught him. That critical lesson is that the only way to success is though hard work. This lesson is clearly sinking as shown through his new skills on the saxophone. He is beginning to develop good practice habits and learning that real mastery is through hard work. With little ones like this I can be confident that the future of our family is in good hands.

With that said, don't think this is a post about me being down about my self. Understand that through writing I am learning about myself and you are privy to my inner growth. This leads me to the last person in the picture. As an ex-girlfriend, I have learned a lot from her. I have greatly improved who I am, but I have learned something more that I never realized, nor she, that I was learning. I was being taught what I didn't want in my life. I think that she is a great person and I wish nothing but the best for her in her future endeavors. Out of that friendship I have learned that there are only a few people that you will have close to you heart. I wrote in an earlier post about an inner circle, I will refer you back to that post for in this stage of my life I look to see who still means something to me. How many people in this world would I really want locked in a room with me for all eternity, how many people would I give my life for? As with anyone, there is only a small number of people that I would be willing to subject myself under those conditions for. I sometimes think that it is easier to see who those people are when you are on the bridge. Look around me in this picture. You see nothing cluttering my sight. There are no trees, no buildings, no distractions. Only myself and those in the picture know what is below me and this will be our little secret. Take comfort though in the fact that on the bridge, I can see what those in my life feel for me. It is easy to see who leads you on the bridge, who follows you, and who walks another path. For those things that will soon come to pass in my life will reward those who have stuck with me and lose those who have strayed. I am ever growing and adapting. I don't know when one changes, on my bridge now, I am under the belief that being a boy has its advantages. Soaking up all that is in front of you. Being a man has advantages, pride in raising those behind you. Perhaps it is when we lose one or the other (boy or man) that we fall off the bridge. I will strive to stay on course and succeed so that those who count on me, and those who look up to me, will be able to speak to their friends and proudly say, I love him, he is a friend.