How do you know?

Life is a giant mystery where you just don't know? How do you ever know what someone else is thinking? How do you know what you should do in any given circumstance. How do you know anything? Well, the simple answer for a number of problems is simply look it up. For whatever reason though this isn't as easy as it seems. For instance, how long can you use a word, without ever really truly knowing it's meaning before you get called out and have to look it up. You may well have thought the word meant one thing, but it could mean something completely different. Don't be a chump, look it up. On the other hand, there are a lot of circumstances in life when the solution is not a simple as looking the answer up. For instance, how do you know how someone feels about you? Is it through the words they express, the actions they take, or some other way. A persons feelings are so complex and ever changing there may be no way to ever know what they feel. I know that when I came home now for break. There was an overwhelming feeling of joy that I have finally arrived after all of this time. Before I left for home, I was getting calls and having plans made in anticipation of my arrival. These actions clearly express how those around me feel for me. The express conditional statements and actions leave no room for ambiguity. But what about those who don't give express signals. How do we know what the people who give implied signals really mean. This implied signal is both frustrating and confusing. The weekend visit may mean that you are enjoyable company or it may mean your company is something that makes the other person tick. I only get to see my friend when I am in town, I only call when a visit is looming, and our friendship is on a convenience basis. But this doesn't express how I feel. When I see friends from home, I am truly happy to see them and need to be better at expressing my content expressly. I am coming to a point in my life when, (good or bad), I really don't have space in my life for the implied emotions. I really think it is just better to know and define the terms of a relationship with another than grope around in the dark being too afraid to jump in. When you get into a pool, you can either be the one slipping their big toe into the water or the one jumping into the pool. If you only have a toe in the water, you only get a little wet but never really swim. If you just jump, you can either really enjoy the pool or you will know the water isn't right. Life is too short for dipping toes.

Wow what a week!

Holy Cow, I have been through an entirely to stressful week. I have thought that I would be kicked out of law school and at the same time thought that by some miracle, I might just be getting it. It is crazy what kind of roller coaster life takes you on. The emotion of a person can go from high to low almost immediately and change back just as fast. On the bright side I have found a good stress reliever. Dinner with friends is some cool water on a blistering sunburn. It just feels so good. I can't believe that the semester is already half over but I am looking forward to finishing off the first year of law school and saying that I did it. Strange how we are always told to hide our pride but in this case, you may call me boastful. I came into the school thinking that there was no way that I could ever compete with law students and now I know that I am capable of competing with anyone. Please don't misconstrue this shameless bragging with the naivety to believe that I somehow think I am as smart as a good deal of my peers. I do know though, everyone has their strengths and mine is preservation and ingenuity. I don't know how I get things done but when the chips are down, I am learning that I can count on myself. Sorry to get off topic here but I am really excited about the start of the Cubs Season. We only have 29 days to go until opening day and I think this year is going to be a blast. We look like we might have some real offensive threats and the pitching could not turn out to be as horrible as in years past. I just hope that a little bit of speed develops and we can have a true running team. How funny is it that a grown man, one who reads legal mumbo jumbo for fun can find such pleasure in a child's game. I think that might be one of the great secretes of life though. Diversity of interests keeps us young. I appreciate you being patient with me during this busy time but I will begin blogging again a little more frequently now that everything has calmed down. In the mean time, enjoy the day for this one will never come upon you again. Who knows how long any of us will live so savor the days you have.